To sustain a successful marriage that lasts over time, a couple needs to work at the relationship. A person really knows and understands a partner after the honeymoon phase has long ended — literally. This is the time when trust and compatibility are either built up under a strong foundation or crumbles, which may result in the demise of the marriage. To decrease the chances of divorce, recognize and address the warning signs that let you know your marriage is going sour.
TREPIDATION
You may have the feeling that you are constantly walking on eggshells in fear of saying or doing something wrong. Maybe you’re afraid to even discuss your concerns with him because you think it may cause another argument. Perhaps you feel as though you are constantly being watched and criticized by your partner and everything you do is wrong in your partner’s eyes. According to the Relationship Success Expert website, “Larger relationship issues are often vented through excessive negative criticism or sarcasm.” In other words, he is not picking you apart because he doesn’t like the way you do dishes or mop the floor; a larger issue exists.
COMMUNICATION CEASES
If communication slows down or stops altogether, you may have an issue. Couples get busy with work and other activities, so this is not uncommon. What is unnatural is constantly spending time in the same space and not talking to one another. You’re reading a book while she listens to music. Your marriage may be headed south when you see your partner as more of a roommate than as a spouse. Maybe you don’t call or text throughout the day to see how she’s doing like you used to do. Communication between the two of you becomes more courteous than entertaining.
PERSONAL APPEARANCE
You no longer care about how you look, or your partner is not taking care of himself anymore. You’ve stopped going to the gym and are down to taking a shower and washing your hair only a few times a week. If you’ve lost interest in maintaining your physical appearance for your spouse, you may be heading downward in your marriage.
DISTRACTIONS
You’ve noticed she’s been watching television more often or maybe he’s reading every night in bed or has a sudden urge to do chores. You may be using distraction tactics to avoid each other. It is very common for individuals to keep busy rather than address relationship issues.
DRAMA
He may be constantly picking an argument with you over little things, like how you parked the car or how you made the bed. These arguments often become routine and never have any resolution. The arguments are simply a way to vent bigger frustrations within the marriage.
LOSS OF AFFECTION
This includes intimacy on all levels. Not only have you stopped having sex with your partner, but now she doesn’t even kiss you in the mornings before heading off to work. The “I Love You” e-mails no longer exist. Your marriage may be headed south if the thought of touching him is no longer appealing to you.
CONSIDERATIONS
These are simply warning signs that your marriage may be in trouble. If you’re concerned, open up the communication lines and discuss your concerns with your spouse. If the discussions are not helpful, consider seeking help from a marriage counselor.
